Dear Magical

Dear Magical,
Life can have numerous surprises ready for us. We meet different people everyday, interact with them and then leave. What we do not realize is that someone from these “different people” may turn out to be the most important person in our lives; can be the magical person we truly need.

I had never thought I would be this much connected to someone where even after realizing how it is a matter of 0% possibility of things working out, I cannot move away from how I feel. I think there is something spiritual about my feelings for you. My feelings for you taught me to never give up and also made me realize how to stay away from someone you adore for their greater good. You taught me to believe in Allah no matter how hard things get; you taught me to love someone more than anything else in this world.

Our first meetup was not special, in fact you were just a normal girl to me who happened to go to the same coaching center as I did. The only time we talked in the coaching was related to your US Visa. Little did I know that my magical was sitting just infront of me all this time. I remember we were discussing names of people that day and when I said I was a Muslim, out of all the people in the room you has such a big reaction! “You are a muslim?” was probably the first time you asked me something. Being used to this question due to my weird name, I replied I indeed was a Muslim.

Fast track to that, I never thought things would turn out to be like this between us. I remember we talked once in Instagram and the next day, you were there in the coaching, sitting with your friends. I wanted to come in and say Hi! but I thought it would be too weird for me to go in there infront of your friends and greet you. Of course it would have been weird; we were from different schools and I was a senior as well. Even at those times, I never realized you will turn out to me my Jhilik, the girl I would brag about to everyone stating how I find you magical in my life.

At that time, I was going on with another crisis of my life, trying again and again to win Habla Hoe back. I think the most particular event of my life was the moment when I tried to persuade Habla Hoe to drop back her rage on me and eat the Meat Loaf I brought for her. I acted like a fool, trying again and again to convince Habla Hoe to eat the food but I never knew my Magical was just in front of me all this time. I would have surely acted less crazy if I had the slightest instinct of how precious you would have turned out for me. For the record, I said “Meat Loaf” and not “Meat Love”. Stop teasing me with that.

To be honest, I miss you teasing me. I miss you telling me how you feel special to be with me. I miss the time you were completely quiet and then suddenly out of nowhere asked me to go to hell with the hijabi friend I went out to eat burger with. I miss all of these and still cannot fully convince you on how happy I will keep you throughout my life.

That night after the shameful incident in front of you regarding Habla Hoe, I texted you realizing you probably cringed out seeing my madness.
“You are Head over Heels for her”
I can still see that text floating in front of me. Yes you were right. I was in fact head over heels for Habla Hoe and I did try until she betrayed me while I was trying to save her from getting ashamed.

Sometimes, things happen for the greater good. I remember the night Habla Hoe betrayed me, I was praying to Allah with the hope of getting Habla Hoe back in my life. The only difference was that my prayer consisted of getting the person I truly desire. That night Habla Hoe had made sure that she was definitely not The One and it got me looking for the person I truly deserve.

Our next conversation started with Habla Hoe as the base. I loved talking to you; you were smart, intelligent and you had amazing skills in so many areas. I loved how talented you are, your paintings, songs and simpleness. I remember you showed me the video of your dance in US and I have to admit Jhilik that your expressions during a dance is the most magnificent thing to watch. Slowly, we started talking about our past life, how miserable were both of our past relationships. While talking to you, I realized that I have started to like you. I don’t know how to explain it, no I was not in love with you at that point but I liked talking to you and the long night chats made me aware how wonderful a person can be.

You were not just an ordinary girl. You were the kind of girl a guy would do anything to be with; in word, you were magical. You were beautiful but to be honest, that was not your strongest feature. You had a beautiful soul and till today I think I felt for your soul. I loved how you were calm and quiet but could be outrageous in certain situations. I loved how you believed in Allah truly and tried to follow your religion. I loved every bit of you.

However, this love came with consequences. I was two months short of living Bangladesh for higher studies. This key factor played a major role in my acts in the coming days. You were the perfect girl a guy can dream for and in no way I deserved you. If I were to work hard to impress you and try to make you realize how I truly feel, I would have needed at least a year. Time is certainly harsh and I did not want to loose my magical in